Na'Lon (na_lon) wrote,

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In limbo once again

I have been keeping a low profile and staying away from lj, because I have much marking to do. But since I spent almost 7 hours today trying to stay conscious throughout induction to a job I have been doing since September, I thought I deserved a little online time.

Feeling oddly low today. Not really miserable as such, but the marking stress is getting to me. There are also a couple of things that have disturbed me greatly.

One was a program I watched about a guy who was in a coma/vegetative state for 19 years. That bit I could cope with. But they presented a case study about a guy who'd been in a minor car accident. Car accidents mean almost invariably that the frontal lobes take a beating in the hostile terrain inside the skull above the eyesockets. And the frontal lobes are were pretty much all the higher cognitive functions are located. This poor guy had only a very small injury to his brain, but it's made a huge difference to his life, because he's essentially lost the ability to love/care. Oh God! What a fate for his wife and son! Dad's still there, but he literally can't care. Plus all the censorship about needs and aggressive feelings and so on are gone, and he's sometimes verbally abusive and has alienated many of the family' friends. :-(

The other thing is to do with the fact that I haven't been sleeping very well. Waking up often with no sense of what time it is. Probably due to the marking stress. Last night I work up with this pain on my left little finger -- acute ripped off skin type of pain. As if I'd scratched off a piece of my own skin. On the inside of the finger, too, were the skin is pretty tough. When I switch on the light I found that I had indeed torn a chunk out of my little finger. How? I have no memory how it happened. No sense of why, but the finger is still quite sore. I hope I don't mutilate myself further tonight. The frequent waking-up is enough bother without finding that I scratch right through my skin while unconscious.
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