Na'Lon (na_lon) wrote,

Spider Infestation, or, what the Marquis and Na'Lon talked about at breakfast

This morning I came down to the kitchen to find the Marquis eating one of the last two pancakes that Skordh had bought at the weekend (I had the other) and reading White Dwarf magazine. This issue included information about the Games Workshop version of Shelob.

Said metal spider looked to be about the size of a large living spider, it's body about the size of a thumbnail.

For some reason this led onto the question of what one would do if Shelob infested one's house. I felt that even I -- usually quite tolerant of spiders in the house -- would be inclined to evict Shelob. "How?" the Marquis wanted to know. I suggested putting a glass over her and sliding some cardboard under, but the Marquis pointed out that the glass would have to be very large. On balance we felt that we'd be more likely end up being evicted by her rather than the other way round. On the whole we felt that this would not be a good state of affairs, especially as the landlady might not be too chuffed, if she couldn't rent her house out again, with that sort of spider in it. Then the following scenario came into being:

We open the front-door to the carport, to reveal a large mass of stick white silk.

"Oh shit, there's something moving in there!" says the Marquis. "Something large." He slams the door.

We then call the RSPCA and ask them to bring a large net. "Please come quickly. We are worried about our neighbours, everything seems to have gone quiet..."

Fortunately, there was no oversized arachnid in our carport this morning. So here I am at work, killing a little time until our Level III Subject board starts.
Tags: lotr, sillyness, wildlife
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